LOVE through HIS EYES

Its been a couple of days now. Sorry for the lack of posting. School has been on full force and learning to BALANCE life…school…the mudane and everything else has been somewhat of a trial for me but the Lord is faithful and his GRACE and MERCY is new every morning! I hope this post finds you and your family doing great! Here in KC the weather is very very BEAUTIFUL! So cool and sunny! Ah..I can walk to my car and not be drenched in sweat! (For all my southern friends…..I do not miss anything about the weather!) Anyways I just wanted to post a little bit about what the Lord is teaching me these past few days. So at my attempt to reveal a bit of my heart I hope it can encourage yours

The Lord has had me on this 2 weeks journey of exposing the stuff way down deep in my heart and bringing it to the surface! NOT FUN! In preparing for a 40 day fast we are engaging in here I asked the Lord what it was that he wanted me focused on for my life during this season. What did he want to teach me during these next 40 days. I felt him speak to my heart that I was to ask for more of a realization for his LOVE FOR me! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! This was going to be one amazing fast! Smiles everyday….warm feelings in my heart! LOVE LOVE LOVE! …But then I heard him speak again..”But you have to be ok with however I CHOOSE to show you my love”..WHAT?! Ok Lord..whatever you say! Love is Love…its all butterflies and flowers right!? NEGATIVE ghost writer!!!!!!!!! About a day after I began my fast the Lord used a specific situation to take me back to a time in my life where I walked through rejection and heart break. And how I still had not let him heal me completely. I had always heard ppl say things like..”Yes the Lord took me back to 3 years ago and began to deal with my heart about someone I hadnt forgave.” And my response towards that was one of judgment and a ‘why not just deal with it then’ kind of attitude. Well as I sat before the Lord that day I realized he was doing that very thing with me. He was taking me back and walking me back through the hurt and pain I had so CLEVERLY tried to cover up and move past. IT HURT! Physically and emotionally! In my desperation and resentment I hopped to my feet and told the Lord i wasn’t ‘doing this’ But Jesus.. in all his mercy softly spoke to my heart,

“Heather ….this is me answering the request for this fast. This is me revealing my LOVE TO YOU. You see my daughter I love you so MUCH that i am focused on rescuing you from the bondage of rejection and the poison of unforgiveness. Partner with me and surrender and lets deal with this stuff once and for all. This is MY LOVE..”

Well………………what do you do with that but sit yourself back down and humbly whisper ‘yes Lord’. So many times in our lives we ask for ‘HIS WILL’ but on ‘OUR TERMS’ It doesn’t work like that! We either take all of him or none. We cannot pick and choose what parts of Jesus we want….It wont always feel good..but the outcome of opening up our hearts and letting him DO WHATEVER far outweighs the humility of seeing our own humanity and bareness.

So what does the Lord want to do in your heart? Where does he want to take you back to? Whatever and wherever LET HIM…..For his leadership is PERFECT

Learning to Love-H