Of all my 21 years of serving the Lord I cant say that I have EVER prayed ..”Lord make me a WORM!” First of all I do not like worms…they are slimy…ugly and just IN THE WAY. I was that little girl who would scream and hit the boys who chased the girls with them. And then you have that ONE kid who was dared to eat one ….and ACTUALLY did it!…ughhhh worms! GROSS! But tonight before bed i turned on a sermon by Leonard Ravenhill and had a very different view on worms. Now instead of running from these harmless creatures I cant help but ask the Lord…MAKE ME LIKE A WORM.

“Fear not, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel! I am the one who helps you, delcares the Lord; Your reedmer is the Holy One of Israel..” (Isaiah 41:14). So here God is talking about Jacob. The same guy who the Lord wrestled with and was favored and honored above men. Yet here God is calling him worm? Our minds want to automatically think this is an insult! Yet Ravenhill sheds new light. He says it like this..

” Worms are the lowests of the low. YOu cant get much lower than a worm. No legs. No arms. Just a belly to squirm on..(yuck). No voice..teeth and what about its eyes? This creature can be stomped upon and killed with no scream or cry for help. It doesnt retaliate or fight back yet wil take defeat with pure silence. This creature can be known as one word..MEAK.”

 Here the Lord wasnt telling Jacob just how aweful he is yet showing him just how weak he was! Yet weakness is not bad. Weakness it actually strength! For when we are weak…he is…STRONG! What would happen if I didnt have to be ’seen’ or ‘heard’ all the time? What if like our little worm friends…..we could take blows and insults with pure silence and no need for retaliation. What if we really let the Lord defend us. What if we forced our flesh to die a SLOW and SILENT death. I wonder what the result would be??…Perhaps like Jacob we would be granted the rest of the verse 15-16, where the Lord promises that we would be stronger and sharper and would actually rejoice in HIM. But first we must learn the POWER IN MEAKNESS before we learn the POWER OF STRENGTH. So Lord give me the boldness to stand for righteousness but the meakness to stay BEHIND THE SCENES SO YOU MAY SHINE. Jesus I dare to pray ..in all my pride…make me a worm! (A cute one of course!) and teach me the POWER IN MEAKNESS.

Seeing with new eyes-H

There is a song I have been listening to and it has a profound message. The lyrics are below. Read over them and let the Lord give you a vision for this generation. If you can download it its better played. But the lyrics are below. Let me know what your thoughts are..

 

‘Children born of the spirit’-Tehilla Toronto

 

 

 

 

Children born of the spirit,

Children bought by the blood.

Children walking by faith not by sight,

Children speaking in tongues.

 

Children who know the father,

Children living in light.

Children with living waters,

Children who prophesy!

 

Children born of the spirit,

Children bought by the blood.

Children walking by faith not by sight,

Children speaking in tongues!

If you have children…make this YOUR PRAYER. If you have an ache in your heart for this generation make this YOUR CRY.  BOLDLY PROCLAIM that this is the day…the hour…the time for the generation who STANDS for righteousness to be called forth.

A GENERATION BORN OF THE SPIRIT….

I find myself dealing with a heavy heart today. The realization of the times and season we are living in has become a reality to me ..especially during the past couple days. I have never had a burden for my nation nor have I really cared enough to cry out on behalf of the lost. I guess I never really understood intercession until now. Because now I find myself pondering in my heart the faces of prostitutes whom are living out of brokeness and surviving from there endulgence on sin. Now I find myself instead of mocking …but  weeping for the homosexual who really, from deception, believes he was created to be like that. Now instead of a thought ‘Oh yea im against abortion’ I see through the eyes of Jesus…whom sees it as murder. Now instead of flipping through the news and complaining about all the ‘Drama’ our nation is caught up in my heart aches because the time is so short yet we are no where close to being ready. These new heart changes are not because im turning ‘Super-spiritual’ (whatever that is anyway) or because I had some crazy encounter with a 20ft angel blowing a trumpet to wake me up!..My heart change simply came from choosing to embrace the heart of Jesus and letting him SHATTER all mindsets I had so neatly set up in this wild brain of mine. And every wall he shattered left room for his thoughts toward this generation and time. I am grateful he woke me up and pointed my eyes toward reality. Speaking on my behalf if im going to run this race that I SIGNED up for than some things HAVE GOT TO CHANGE.  Its not about me living my life …doing the ‘Christian thing’ and waiting for Jesus to rapture me up as the rest of the world burns. Its about my life for his call. Its about PREPARING myself so that my voice can be one whom like John the Baptist BOLDLY proclaims,

“….Prepare the way of the Lord!”

Its about knowing this man in an intimate…real…personal way. Its about being willing to drop all pre-conceived thoughts and asking the intense question..”Jesus…will you be my teacher?…will you show me my part in these last days?”  Can you really ask him something so real and straight forward????!…YES! Because Jesus Christ is Real and straight forward. With the urgency of the hour we are in during the elections and the state our generation is in you HAVE to be able to talk to him this way! No second hand info when it comes to revelation concerning the fathers heart. When we have things like a father in California getting thrown into jail because he removed his daughter from school where they were educating her on homosexuality….WE HAVE to know the words that are coming straight from the lips of Jesus. He is not some floating spirit who is WAY up in heaven my friend. He is a man …HE has emotions and his heart is broken. Tears stream from his eyes when another 13 year old takes there life…Do tears fall from your eyes? His heart breaks when another abortion is followed through on…..Is it just more ‘news’ to you? And his jealousy rages when thousands everyday chose to live for other loves and turn there backs on him….Do you have a holy anger that rises up inside and sends you to your knees? …I can only ask him to grant me a heart overflowing with these things…for this is the place you intercede from.

So in closing this post my question for you is this…ARE YOU AWAKE? Or are you running through life right now with a narrow focus only seeing you and your life? Do you understand that as your reading this souls..actual human beings are dying and spending eternity in hell? Do you see that our nation is about to hit a crisis and it will affect you? But most importantly do you realize the REASON you are here?…The reason you have a voice …and what that voice is suppose to be used for? ……….will you be ready?

“Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to AWAKE FROM SLEEP for salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed.”- Romans 13:11

Its been a couple of days now. Sorry for the lack of posting. School has been on full force and learning to BALANCE life…school…the mudane and everything else has been somewhat of a trial for me but the Lord is faithful and his GRACE and MERCY is new every morning! I hope this post finds you and your family doing great! Here in KC the weather is very very BEAUTIFUL! So cool and sunny! Ah..I can walk to my car and not be drenched in sweat! (For all my southern friends…..I do not miss anything about the weather!) Anyways I just wanted to post a little bit about what the Lord is teaching me these past few days. So at my attempt to reveal a bit of my heart I hope it can encourage yours

The Lord has had me on this 2 weeks journey of exposing the stuff way down deep in my heart and bringing it to the surface! NOT FUN! In preparing for a 40 day fast we are engaging in here I asked the Lord what it was that he wanted me focused on for my life during this season. What did he want to teach me during these next 40 days. I felt him speak to my heart that I was to ask for more of a realization for his LOVE FOR me! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! This was going to be one amazing fast! Smiles everyday….warm feelings in my heart! LOVE LOVE LOVE! …But then I heard him speak again..”But you have to be ok with however I CHOOSE to show you my love”..WHAT?! Ok Lord..whatever you say! Love is Love…its all butterflies and flowers right!? NEGATIVE ghost writer!!!!!!!!! About a day after I began my fast the Lord used a specific situation to take me back to a time in my life where I walked through rejection and heart break. And how I still had not let him heal me completely. I had always heard ppl say things like..”Yes the Lord took me back to 3 years ago and began to deal with my heart about someone I hadnt forgave.” And my response towards that was one of judgment and a ‘why not just deal with it then’ kind of attitude. Well as I sat before the Lord that day I realized he was doing that very thing with me. He was taking me back and walking me back through the hurt and pain I had so CLEVERLY tried to cover up and move past. IT HURT! Physically and emotionally! In my desperation and resentment I hopped to my feet and told the Lord i wasn’t ‘doing this’ But Jesus.. in all his mercy softly spoke to my heart,

“Heather ….this is me answering the request for this fast. This is me revealing my LOVE TO YOU. You see my daughter I love you so MUCH that i am focused on rescuing you from the bondage of rejection and the poison of unforgiveness. Partner with me and surrender and lets deal with this stuff once and for all. This is MY LOVE..”

Well………………what do you do with that but sit yourself back down and humbly whisper ‘yes Lord’. So many times in our lives we ask for ‘HIS WILL’ but on ‘OUR TERMS’ It doesn’t work like that! We either take all of him or none. We cannot pick and choose what parts of Jesus we want….It wont always feel good..but the outcome of opening up our hearts and letting him DO WHATEVER far outweighs the humility of seeing our own humanity and bareness.

So what does the Lord want to do in your heart? Where does he want to take you back to? Whatever and wherever LET HIM…..For his leadership is PERFECT

Learning to Love-H

“Everybody thinks of changing HUMANITY and nobody thinks of changing himself. Let us be among those who believe that the INNER TRANSFORMATION of our lives is a goal worthy of our best effort.”

 

A quote from a book I am reading write now, ‘Celebration of Discipline’ by Richard Foster. It didnt actually look like an interesting book to me. I go for the ones with the awesome vintage covers and old author. BUT this book has done some damage to my heart and mind. In a good way! It has challenged me with how I am spending my time…money…thoughts and life! How every mintute on this side of eternity effects our later days. I reccomend the book to anyone whom is being lead to carry a more disciplined and focused life. It will change every LAZY thought you have!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ok maybe not everyone of them….but deff. alot!) Just go get it and see what you think!

So here in KC I live with an amazing family. But best of all they are AUSSIES! straight from downunder! ..Im learning all kinds of new words….food..and other fun stuff! Its pretty interesting around the house to hear me..”Do YALL have a TRASHCAN?” and the Aussie response..”Ya mean do we have a RUBISH bin hey?” hahhaha I love it! So if thats not enough fun for you we have ANOTHER Australian family living with us for the next month here. So im sure if you used your imagination you could just imagine a dinner conversation with 9 AUSTRALIANS and 1 SOUTHERNER….!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man so much fun! The family here for one month has two beautiful children. The picture is of  me and there little girl..I had just told her i loved her and she was REALLY excited! lol. Simply precious…

School is in full force for me. Its been intense but its completely amazing! The Lord has hedged me in during this season bringing to my attention that at the end of the day he is all that really matters. Healing is great…church planting is great…Missions is great but still when all is said and done..HE IS ALL THAT MATTERS. If I COULD only grasp that in its fullness the joy I would walk in what could pull me down??. I have met some amazing life giving friends here. NOT too many….but just enough to keep me laughing during a long day! Life is good….God is great and to fall in love with him is the wisest thing you could WASTE your heart on. Thank everyone for the comments the past couple of days! IT makes me smile to see a good Louisianan thinking about me up here in the NORTH!

Freezing but so warm-H

“My heart is stirred for the GOOD THING the GOOD THING Jesus..”

Lyrics to an amazing song that has been played lately around ihop. It describes my heart completely recently. It has been stirred for the GOOD thing. What could that be? Oh nothing but the Love if Jesus! It has changed seasons here in KC …its COLD!!! hot chocolate and a blanket (or two) kind of weather! Ill let you know when I hit the hills for some SLEDDING!!!! hahha..Just as the weather has changed so quickly  so has my life AGAIN. The past months here have been like a blir. Changing is never easy but I have never wanted to sign my name to something that was ‘easy’… just like anything else its a choice. And this is my decision. I have chosen to leave behind things i have long desired  simply to learn how to DESIRE only him. I am very excited at the new season of Bible school that starts for me tom.! I havnt been in school for some time and my desire and hunger for some studying and homework has kept me on my toes! (We will see if this is my same response in about 2 months!) But anyways im here. My heart is weak at times and misses my family. I miss Louisiana and the AMAZING food and warm faces. But In the midst of knowing i have obeyed there is a calm and a peace. I am trusting him and following his leadership. He is the BEST leader. For those of you who seem to glance at this blog every once and awhile I ask you to continue to pray for my life here as I seek the Lord and spend time following him with every crazy and wild step he takes! Arnt you so thankful that we SERVE a God who is not boring!?????? I am not a fan of the ‘expected’ ……and I have come to realize that I am serving the right God!!!!! Yet sometimes i throw a fit like a 4 year old girl and yell..”But Jesus this was NOT MY PLAN!” and he smiles at me and says..”Yes …..I KNOW!”

I pray over you right now that the Lord showers down his peace in the midst of the changes he has brought. May you know that he is YOUR LEADER. May he teach you how to TRUST his leadership NO MATTER THE PAST.  May you experience his love around you as you place your hand in his and walk with him. May he awaken gifts and dreams that you have let go of…and like the valley of dry bones may you prophesy life back into the dead parts of your life! He is a God of life and life to be lived in ABUNDANCE. May you find great comfort that you follow a savior who loved you to the point of complete abandon and sacrifice. That is WHO HE IS.. and this is who he wants you to let HIM BE in and around you. Jesus may you shine BIG in our hearts today.

…’Shine Jesus Shine fill this land with the fathers GLORY…Blaze spirit Blaze set our hearts on FIRE’

Life is but bliss! Such a modern day phrase;

As we look upon our sin as simply ‘Just a phase’.

 

So many ways to climb this ladder we call success;

Indulging in earthly ‘shadows’ …on Eternity thinking less and less.

 

We raise up a glass with a smile on our face;

Here’s to us…..the BEAUTIFUL human race!

 

For we strive and struggle making a name for ourselves;

Placing and organizing our life on the worlds ‘who’s who’ invisible shelves.

 

In the midst of our  important lives and busy focus;

We manage to stay in church to hear a story about honey and locus?

 

Oh how we love the Lord! How we find joy in his gifts;

But how quickly upon another lover our passion shifts.

 

‘Its ok’ as we confirm the compromise in our hearts;

The darkness begins to draw near as the slumber on our soul starts.

 

We have forgotten what it means to share true love with him;

Letting the world go and our flesh become dim.

 

We have grasped hold of the shiny jewel that seemed to catch our eye;

Pushing away the wilderness …..knowing that in there our ‘will’ would be forced to die.

 

We have confessed to KNOW him and have surrendered our hearts;

Not understanding this is not IT……this is just where it starts!

 

So when that cry goes out and our KING shines bright from the sky;

Know that this will be  THE END. There is no more, “I’m ready to TRY!”

 

 May we Choose to be like the five virgins who prepared themselves just right;

Who gathered enough oil to be pleasing in HIS sight.

 

 

Don’t let your time be wasted or your tender heart grow cold;

The oil and passion is  for you not the virgins of old.

 

Could it be today…..tomorrow that the King interrupts ‘Our show’;

The voice cries out PREPARE YOURSELF…

May your name he would know!

‘You know me in the THUNDER
You know me in the RAIN.
You know me in the STORM
You have felt me in your PAIN.

You know me in the LIGHTNING
You know me in the SHOUTS.
You know me in GREAT WORKS
You have seen ME..therefore have no doubts.

You know me in JOY
You know me in times of DANCING;
You have felt my kisses…
Embraced my ROMANCING.

You know me in GREAT wonders.
You know me in the EVIDENT ..in the SEEN,
You know me this way…thats why on MY SHOULDER you LEAN.

But my child do you know me in the SILENT?
In your souls DEEPEST DARK?
For look closely.. even there you wll find MY MARK.

Do you know me in the stillness?
In the quiet of your HEART?
Try just waiting for me…Every encounter is a fresh start.

Do you know me in the breeze?
In the wind on your face?
Try searching for me there…I will open your eyes to MY GRACE.

Do you know me in the frustration of an UNANSWERED PRAYER?
Do you know I desire MY WILL not what you see ‘FARE’?

Do you know me in the WHISPER
In the wilderness of YOUR SOUL?
I promise I am there…HERE I will fill your hearts DEEPEST HOLE.

So my child YES I am found in great wonders and Mysteries untold,
But im also found in YOUR LONLINESS..
Where your broken heart I will SOFTLY HOLD.

Hello to ALL! Hope this finds you doing AMAZING! I find myself these past couple of weeks just in ‘chill out’ mode. You know that place where everything seems to be moving SLLOOWWLLYY…and no matter what you try and FIND to do nothing makes the season go quick enough?! But in it im learning that REST is required before a major journey! So im learning to just relax …go on a few walks…cook a little bit (more than just an instant oatmeal packet!) and drink some hott tea while wearing a sweatshirt..praying that the snow here in KC will come fast..(Even though its 80 something degrees here!…) hahha …im sure my mother would appreciate the cooking joke! Anyways lately the Lord has had me on a quest to CLEAN OUT my heart. He has really given me this desire to live as a women with a PURE heart before the Lord. One who has an undivided FOCUS and a whole heart surrendered to him. The things he can do with us when we walk with ‘clean hands and a PURE HEART..’ So I have been asking the Lord to rid me of any deep..hidden…covered.. hurt or bitterness. I think its SO important that we daily ask the Lord to show us the things we have hidden or allowed to take root in our hearts. But its about  surrender on OUR part. He wont go where he is not allowed. A friend of mine shared a quote with me and it totally rocked my world It says this..

” BITTERNESS is the POISON we drink hoping the OTHER PERSON gets sick”

 !!!!!!!!!!…..So may the Lord clear out our hearts today…take away ALL bitterness …..hurt..offense and pride! For its not only others these hidden sins may hurt….its our futures….calling and HEARTS that will be destroyed! Give me a PURE heart Lord…. A PURE HEART